Brain Change
Challenge conventional wisdom.
Destroy dogma, superstition, and lies.
Spare thoughts, anyone?


Monday, April 20, 2009

 

I'm Not From Around Here

I'm not from around here, so I hope you take this the right way, but even though you seem to be neurologically complex enough, you flesh-bearing bipeds make an incredibly contradiction-riddled species, as if you're all bent on comic self-destruction. Of course, you could be vastly superior in some inscrutable way. So allow me to share some of my recent observations and perhaps you might be able to help me understand your kind.

I saw one of your kind walking with a quadruped progeny substitute. The poor thing was tethered to a territorial freedom constraint. Still it managed to defecate on a chlorophyll-covered status exhibit, when someone ran out of a privacy protection unit and yelled, "Get that mongrel out of my yard. Why don't you dump its shit on your own damn lawn!" The other pretended like she didn't hear and muttered underneath her breath, "Animal hater."

I ventured into one of your culturally vacant expanses of sameness and found myself in the middle of one of those mass consumption pits. They were running some sort of consumer feeding frenzy, when I overheard a verbal exchange between two discretionary income disposers.  "John's out of town," one said, "I've been shopping now for two whole days. This is really gonna cost him."

The other just chuckled and replied as she winked her eye, "Serves him right."

I headed out to the surrounding asphalt field neatly divided into grid-lined stalls packed side-to-side with air-polluting transportation pods as your sun was shining through your withering ultra-violet buffer. I passed some bipeds operating carcinogen intake units. One said
"I don't know why people complain about smoking indoors. I mean like I don't complain about other people's perfume."

Just then a passer-by remarked, "Perfume doesn't consume other people's lungs."

Then I looked up and noticed a huge artificially lit persuasion display. It kept flashing arrangements of symbols, which when decoded, promoted tricks like internet banking, certificates of deposit, and a way to easily obtain large quantities of paper wealth units. Claimed you could even pick your own interest rate and then it displayed arbitrary measurements of thermal activity and temporal calibration. But before it began to repeat these messages all over again, it flashed, "John 3:15."

Well, did some digging and found your "John 3:15" resembles a concept long ago discarded in ridicule and shame back where I come from. Seems we were killing so many of our own kind over our version of institutionalized schizophrenia, we had to give it up in order to survive. So I visited a known purveyor of your brand of high-flying hocus pocus, and I described the great liberation we enjoyed when we gave it up. Although he seemed to understand, he just gave me a condescending look and said, "Go to hell."

Hear this entire post put to music and sung.

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